Saturday, March 26, 2005

The bounding perimeter...

The world goes around the globe...yeah, it does. The physical body continues with its delegated work even if the heart or the mind disagrees.

I'm sure a lot of people would react about how I said that, or what I've exactly said, especially the critcs who never fail to question your line of thinking even if it meant the old-fashioned debate about the egg and the chicken, about which came first, and blah, blah, blah.

What's my point? It seems odd that when there's so much time to waste, I always do end up putting it to waste without working on anything decent, anyway. Then again, don't we all?

Again, what's my point? I guess I'm just not comfortable when the world becomes suddenly all too small for me in just a split second. When I get uncomfortable, I get paranoid, and when I get paranoid, I tend to drown my mind with all the typical fallacies human beings often commit...and when the world becomes too small for my sh!t, where would everything go?

Imagine a world where everyone knows each other and everyone can love one another freely because we all know each other and since we all know each other, we should love and take care of each other. Sheesh, I swear that's the only time I used the word know more than twice in a sentence and on stressing a point at that.

Where will "being left in the dark" all go to? When will the line "I need space for myself" ever be used? Where will the word adventure thrive on if we knew exactly where we're going and the people we will relate to?There's no sense in redefining yourself over and over again if the same people know the people you will get to know in the future. If ever you do want to start anew, people from your past who know the people you will meet may have already tainted their minds about who you are and what you are even before meeting them. Say what?

Sure, there's this "check and balances" that make people go gago and say "oooh, she's changed over the years..." or the ever-so-destructive ones that go like "...damn, girl, what the hell did you do to your hair!?" HA... it does seem funny to read about it now but for people who know too many other people...geesh, don't you feel like Jim Carrey in this one movie where his whole life was a lie and people paid to watch him on TV?

Alright, so I might be overdoing it, but I think I'm really beginning to hate those online communities on the internet...you know the ones where you get to create your account, upload your pictures, get connected through the people in your network, and write your testimonials to each other. Yeah, that. Well, I really don't hate it...I just got annoyed this afternoon when I found out that the people I used to hang out with back in high school, these people in the lower batch, know some of my friends in the senior year in college. Aah, you're probably thinking...there goes her insecurity level turning red again, aye? I don't think so. If you've read my entry well enough, then you'd totally understand where I'm coming from.

I guess writing this entry was one way of unloading useless crap out of my now-dazed-and-confused head. It would make me think clearly, I hope.

So...did I just mention that the body continues with its delegated work even if the heart or the mind disagrees? Yeah...don't we all.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

something about new things and $#!T

I've decided to do some writing again, after a few years of ex-communication with Macromedia and Adobe softwares. Is it going to be prose, poetry, or emo? Emo!? That I don't know. There's this song of Fra Lippo Lippi that I surprisingly seem to relate to all of a sudden...

"Sail on the wings of a cloud
Where to, well nobody knows
And cry, cry if you want them to see
Die every day to be free
Be proud to wear the colours that you call your own
Be loud, speak out when the world to know
Be strong, hold the flame for everyone to see
Be weak, if you want to love..."

...too much sentimental sh*t for someone like me, I guess. Yeah, something like that. Writing a diary is the kind of change I dread the most. I never wanted to write in a journal, or have a diary of my own. Heck, I haven't even written more than 20 entries in my deviantart account; one that I've had for almost 3 years now. So for me to have a blog is like me suddenly turning suicidal when I'm the type to enjoy life. It's different, though. I know something's going to happen soon, I just don't know what. I just suddenly had this urge to write, as if I wanted things documented before it occurs.

Queer. Haha. That word reminds me of a lot of things. I just wish I'd be strong enough, as I always tried to be, in this kind of future. Whatever it is, ima just let the sun shine in and make love to the brightest stars in the universe.

http://yasunta.deviantart.com